Brain defrag

Researchers (or cracked.com, I'm not really sure which) say the only reason we sleep is so our subconscious can defrag and be refreshed to take on our next challenge. That's why we dream. Our brain is just spewing out the random events/things we've been thinking about. Well, I'm considering this my "conscious brain defrag."

I have a lot in my head right now. That's not a new thing, but I've been thinking a lot about life in general so I decided now is a good time to just write it all out. I'm sure it's going to be a rambled mess of run-on sentences, but feel free to keep reading if you wish.

So first of all, a bit of exciting news. After going back and forth for months and coming to a clear conclusion that I am a terrible decision maker, I finally decided that I'm going to brave the cockroaches and the mold this summer in Corpus Christi, TX. Ian's going to be selling alarm systems for Vivint (formerly A-P-X alarm, individual letters pronounced. Before that: APX alarm, like apex. Seriously? Make up your mind on your company's name. You're confusing everyone.) and I'll be doing... pretty much everything else. They have a children's hospital there and, after really coming to love pediatrics over the past year, I'm thinking I'll be spending a lot of time there volunteering. There's also like 8 other hospitals there so I'm sure I'll have some good experience to add to my resume. Also, did I mention there's a beach there. Yeah. PS this is the image that came up when I googled it.

Doesn't that look amazing? I think so.

The biggest obstacle in this decision-making process has been deciding whether or not to leave my job. I really have the best job in the world. I work with amazing women, and doctors who care about their patients and employees, and from whom I've learned so much, there is ZERO drama, and we all work so well together and learn so much from each other. I really hate the thought of leaving, because I'm 100% positive that there is no better workplace in the entire world.

Also a little sidenote: this job has really taught me a lot more about what it is to be a mom. How it really is a 24/7 job that you get little, if any, breaks from. It's RSV season, and I've seen mom's going on 2 days of no sleep with their little tiny babies who are completely inconsolable, and somehow they just keep going, all for the sake of that baby. Or another example is a mom that I've spent a lot of time talking to. She found out she was pregnant with her 2nd baby when her oldest was 6 weeks old. Add to that, her husband travels for weeks at a time on business. Her 2nd baby is now 6 months old, and at his checkup appointment the other day, I told her how much I admired her and asked her how she does it. She said, "Well, I either do it, or my kids die. So I guess I just have to be tired." I don't know why that struck such a chord with me, but I was really impressed with her answer. Motherhood is really the most selfless thing on the earth. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, back to what we were talking about. I feel like we're moving in the right direction. I think back to times in my life where I thought I was in the best place I could possibly be, but then when I took that next step into the unknown, a whole world opened up that I didn't even know existed. And when I look back to that place I thought I would be devastated to leave, of course there are certain aspects of it that I will always miss, but it doesn't feel as bad as I thought it would. That's what I'm hoping to gain from this experience. I've always been a person who needs a set-in-stone plan, but I don't have that here. To tell you the truth, I kind of like it. It a little bit makes me want to freak out, but I know I'll be okay and so I'll just move forward.

What all this will hopefully lead me toward is more guidance about what the heck I'm supposed to be doing for school. I feel like this is life right now:

I did that in Paint. Do you like it?

Anyway, I just have no idea how to climb this stinkin' mountain. It's not enough just to become an RN anymore. You have to pick the right program, have the right grades, have previous experience in the medical field, all these wild cards that somehow say to a prospective employer, "Hire me!" I know it sounds like I'm complaining, and, I won't lie, I'm getting a little frustrated with the whole process in general, but it's really more of an observation. Because, really, who's not in this position? (If you're not, you will be very soon. I assure you.) So I guess I just get to be like everyone else and figure this whole thing out one step at a time, which really gets in the way of my set-in-stone planning mentality. Maybe that's what this is supposed to teach me. Set-in-stone plans are for people who never plan on getting anywhere in life. Because it changes in the blink of an eye, and if you can't adapt, life will pass you by.

For some reason, I'm drawn to the U right now. Ian and I were up there last night with some friends, and we're both really liking that idea after talking about it. They have a great nursing program and they have the hospital there that sees all kinds of interesting cases. I would learn a lot. So I'm gonna let that thought simmer for awhile, and see where it takes me. Who knows, maybe I'll look like these guys come fall:

Go Utes! haha

xoxo, Cori